Mark Davies

The world has lost a truly great man and visionary but lets not be too saddened by his death lets celebrate the life of an amazing man. He changed the world in many ways from personal and business computing, personal music, portable computing and perhaps the most pervasive way, in making us expect product  design to be brilliant, all products. Apple is the benchmark of design standard to the point where we now judge things on how ‘Apple’ like they are.

He had failures with things like the Newton and huge successes with the Apple IIe and even had to leave the company before coming back to even higher greatness but he has shown what can be achieved with a single mind and a burning desire. In his early days he was more petulant child than purist genius and was even known as the enfant terrible. It is incredible what a different lens or focus on things has, as I cannot believe he truly changed his enfent terrible ways just that people got used to them and more importantly the results he brought.

A great insight into how he lived is live was given in his speech to Stanford University in 2005, not long after he had been diagnosed with the cancer that killed him.

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Mark Davies

The other week I was reading the BBC news website and I read an article by Lucy Kellaway of the FT. The article was titled “The Seven Deadly Sins CEO’s won’t admit” and it highlighted the 7 traits that seem to define a CEO. They were

Control freaks
Vain
Ditherers
Bad at listening
Bullies
Afraid of conflict
No good at small talk

Now these are probably not a surprise to most people that have worked closely with any CEO but I had never seen these written down before and I was perhaps a little surprised that these traits were across the board. Lucy isn’t saying that all CEO’s have all of these characteristics just that they usually all have some of them. So I started to think about which one was worse and which ones I had seen at some point. I have blogged before about leaders who bully and that does figure high on my list of attributes best done without, but perhaps the one I feel can cause most corporate crisis is ‘dithering’.

Lack of decisions can lead to huge delays in projects, sometimes even causing failure, but obviously it is never their fault. It is often said that no decision is worse than the wrong decision and that can sometimes be true, but for me there is another situation that is worse. Worse than no decision and worse than the wrong decision, and that is continual changing of the decision!

Have you ever worked on a task or project where you got fired up and really enthusiastic only to have that energy drain away in an instant when the boss tells you it’s all off, we’ve changed our mind/plan/direction or whatever. The worse comes when now halfway down plan B you get the message, STOP, plan A is back on now jump to it!

This constant on off on off approach depletes energy and enthusiasm faster then no decision. At least with no decision people can spin their wheels, or plan for what should be done even it isn’t being done, they can talk about it, bitch and moan but at least they have a channel to vent.

Similarly with the wrong decision they can get behind it and march on regardless while hoping for the best, but the changing of the decision, the swapping, the constant flip flopping, well that will kill morale in an instant.

To see Lucy’s full article in the FT the click here

Last Sunday it was my 3 year old daughters birthday party and so to avoid mayhem and carnage at home we hired a local village hall. On arrival the hall seemed cold, large and empty and so we quickly set up the tables and chairs, balloons and a children’s entertainer set up at the front.

At the appointed hour 25 children plus parents arrived and the party really got going, they played, shouted, jumped, skipped sung and had some food, and the children had fun too.

After the two hours we sent them all home with a small gift, some cake and a big thank you, then it was up to us to clear up the mess!

As I was sweeping the floor the hall seemed cold and empty again, and it made me realized that life starts out of emptiness, and becomes a place of promise and potential, then ends as a cold room with lots of dust, and rubbish collected along the way. But the important part is the long bit in the middle, the fun part, the PARTY.

The best parties are the ones where everyone joins in, they all have fun, build friendships and bonds, play games, cry a little, when someone burst your balloon, and smile and laugh a lot. And finally go off happy with fond memories that live on forever.

Perhaps we should all try and live life like a party, not to milk it for self indulgent hedonistic pleasure at the expense of others, milk it yes, but share with others the pleasure you create.

How long after the dust has settled will your party be talked about?

The other day I was talking with a friend of mine about how most of the personal development and leadership courses and programs always have some kind of physical challenge for the participants to overcome. Tony Robbins has a firewalk, others have board breaking, or walking onto a pole wedged into your collar bone until it snaps, the pole that is! There are trapeze stunts, or jumping from one pole to another, the list goes on. They are all extreme physical acts that are supposed to be a metaphor for an emotional act. They are meant to make you believe that if you can do ‘X’ then nothing else would be a problem. So why don’t they work?

Let me lay my cards out first, I do believe that in some cases they can work and do work, but they do not work for everyone and I would go so far as to say they do not work for the majority of people.

And here is why I think this. Personal experience. I have been on the Tony Robbins firewalk, and I had no fear about it at all, well that was until Tony makes sure you do have fear. He spends a good hour warming you up, almost literally, to the idea that if you screw this up and have the wrong mental frame, then you are toast! You see even Tony knows that this does not work, it needs the emotion behind it to get anywhere near working and that is why he builds up the fear, so you take an emotional step not a physical one.

However for most of my life I have had what some would call a desire for excitement, and others would call a death wish! I have done anything and everything to produce that feeling of really being alive when you have adrenaline pump through your veins. I have skydived, bungeed, flown planes and helicopters, done aerobatics, kite surfed, driven fast cars and bikes close on 200mph, you get the idea. I don’t say this to impress but merely to show the lengths’ I have gone to, to feel alive!

So my point, well I can, will and have taken any physical step, even out of an aeroplane at 17000ft with little or no regard for my own well being, but I still struggle to find that power when it comes to emotional acts. Like what, well like cold calling a company trying to make a sale, like breaking up a relationship that wasn’t working, like asking the boss for a raise, in fact many things which don’t rely on me taking a step and gravity or a throttle doing the rest. I know I am not alone, I have spoken to several people about this recently and it seems that whilst the physical act can boost your confidence, it doesn’t really increase your chances of taking action if the job at hand is an emotional one.

What is it that makes us fail? We can do many things well and often succeed but there are somethings which we just cannot ever complete or achieve, somethings where success just eludes us. I am thinking about things like, stopping smoking, getting up and running each day, leave that broken relationship, sticking to that New Years resolution, applying for that better job, cutting out the take-a-ways or sticking to the diet, going for that promotion, drinking less… and the worst one of all… failing to live our dreams. For each of us it is different but we all have some.

Well here is your answer…

Now WHY didn’t we know this?

Mark Davies.

When I was at Junior school, which I think is now known as year 4 to year 8 but I could be wrong, I was fortunate enough to have an inspirational teacher. I have had several in my school life, but this man was special, he was the first and he really cared about developing the young minds he had control of. He was the Deputy Head Master and perhaps that gave him more confidence to do things a bit out of the ordinary, though whatever the reason he did something special for about three of us at the end of our time with him.

It was the first day of the summer holidays after my last day at junior school (1977 – Wow!), and the last time we would see this man, but what he did for us remains with me to this day and possibly changed my life more than I could ever known it would at the time.

I grew up in Bury, Lancashire, England which is about 10 miles north of Manchester, and it was to Manchester we were to travel on that day. Mr Pickup, our teacher, had arranged that we would go to a library, which on the surface does not sound all that great for an 11 year old. However, this was no ordinary library, it was and still is, the oldest library in the English speaking world.

Sir Humphrey Chetham (1580 – 1653) was a Manchester textile merchant, and when he died he made provision in his will to give money for the building and stocking of a public library. He did this not only because of his philanthropic nature but also, and perhaps primarily, because he had heard the government were going to take all his money upon his death (how things have changed!). Chetham’s Library was founded in 1653, after his death, and they stocked it with books over the following years.

On the day of our visit we were met at the entrance, a big old oak door, by one of the library staff and lead in to what I can only describe now as a scene from Harry Potter. There were shelves upon shelves of old, very old and very very old books, some sections where behind locked gates so you could not get to the precious volumes. Most however where on shelves that you could get close to. They where all large dusty leather bound books which looked like they should contain spells or early versions of the bible.

I was in absolute awe at the wealth of knowledge that lay before me but frustrated at the lack of access. I could smell it but I wanted to read it. We were shown some of the volumes by the library staff but my interest and enthusiasm just increased with every book we saw.

From that day forward I have had a great love of books, I just love the smell of books both new and old (they both have a different yet distinctive smell), I love the way they feel, the texture of the paper, the designs of their covers and most importantly the information they contain and the promise they can offer…. though only if you read them!

I used to, like many people, think that just by buying the book caused you to have the knowledge, but NO, reading by osmosis does not work you really do have to put the time in and read every page.

I loved books so much at one time in my life that I used to try and read them without folding the pages or without opening them too wide and breaking the spine. I could never understand people that would write notes in books or mark particular pages. Today I am somewhat different, I now see books as tools to be used, they can be bent, folded, written in, and most importantly read and understood. To read a book and not act out what it is offering as wisdom means you may as well have never read it. Oh I am not suggesting you read and accept every book as well constructed and informed wisdom, but when you just know it is, then you MUST act. Roger Hamilton (wealth dynamics) says ‘To know and not yet to do is not yet to know’. Information is power, or so the saying goes, but actually information is only potential power, unless you act it is impotent!

Earl Shoaff taught the late great Jim Rohn that to be successful you need to read books. “Build a library” he said, and “read the books”. All successful people have a library, so much so that every expensive house has a library in it, but maybe that is just a co-incidence. Wherever you live make some space and build a library, however small.

Today I have read hundreds of books, eBooks, and Audio programs on self help, personal development, business, creating wealth, inspiration, leadership, hypnosis, NLP, and many many more subjects. I believe this is due in no small part to the teacher that came when I most needed it, Mr Chris Pickup, he made me think, and that made me read, and it changed my life.

Thank You Mr Pickup
Mark Davies.

Yesterday I went into London on the train, as I often do, and usually I keep myself to myself, head down in a book, and everyone ignores me as I do them. It’s the way of the world in most Cities, you do your thing, they do theirs and no one speaks to no one! However, yesterday was different, yesterday the world seemed a better place, yesterday people looked at me, they smiled and some even spoke to me! Wow what happened, this is a really lovely friendly place to be. I’ll tell you what happened, I took my two beautiful little girls, (Emilie 2 1/2 and Amelia 8 months). They always cause people to look and smile but this is the first time I had taken them to the City and actually watched other peoples reactions to them, it was a real eye opener.

So what really happened, why did otherwise ordinary miserable, mind your own business, don’t speak to me people change their behaviour? Well I think the answer is really quite simple, they got a change of state. It was forced upon them by something so natural and  so instinctive they had little choice. It was something that triggers a reaction in almost ever human being that is put there to force our species to survive by nurturing and caring for young offspring. It was just a smile from a little girl but in that moment it changed peoples lives, albeit only slightly and albeit temporary but it made people smile back.

Just think what could be done with that power, we could all take our toddlers to work, or borrow a puppy or other small furry animal, or perhaps more simply and realistically we could all just smile a little more, a little more often and maybe your day could be brighter like mine was.

I was reminded recently of an excellent example of a management style which can be seen demonstrated in most, if not all organisations, at least some times. The reminder came in the form a of TV show which is known for it’s satirical view on life, Blackadder. In the episode concerned (Dual & Duality) Edmund Blackadder is asking the Duke of Wellington about his approach to his staff. It goes like this:

Blackadder : Tell me do you ever stop bullying and shouting at the lower orders?
Wellington : NEVER! There’s only one way to win a campaign SHOUT, SHOUT and SHOUT again.
Blackadder : You don’t think that inspired leadership and tactical ability have anything to do with it?
Wellington : (pausing for a second…) NO! It’s all down to shouting!

We have all seen this in places we work, possibly even a place you are in today, because the reality is that this style, if you can call it that, is demonstrated all too often. I myself have seen this approach not all that long ago, I have probably even used it on occasion, but it is an extremely blunt weapon and once used it is difficult to ever show that this is not your normal style and regain the trust and support from your staff.

I believe it is born out of one of three things, firstly it is a sign of inexperience as a manager. Second it will often develop out of anger and frustration and finally it is shown when the manager concerned has a need for significance and control over his subordinates, in other words bullying.

The inexperienced manager is often faced with a situation which he has not encountered. A situation where perhaps a staff member is not being as helpful as they could or they don’t seem to perform or deliver quite what is required. After several attempts to explain the situation, and failing, the manger resorts to a raised voice and occasionally insulting remarks because they know of no other way to effect change.

No matter how calm anyone is most of the time, there will be occasions where the stress levels rise, the cortisol flows through the veins and they let go. How people let go shows the level of maturity and control they have over their own actions. Individuals that have total control will let go in such a way that you would never even notice, if anything they move to a calmer state and their breathing becomes more controlled. At the other end of the scale we have the emotional Neanderthals, they have absolutely no control and what’s more justify there lack of control by blaming others for driving them to it. If you have worked with one of these, as I have, then you can be in real trouble. Dealing with this type of manager can be a daily battle and it can destroy a team or department, it will also generally increase staff turn over because people cannot work in this type of environment for too long.

When bullying leads to shouting it is often the case that the bully does not even see it.They may even exhibit exemplar behaviour to their superiors and external suppliers or customers. The problem with these types is you are never quite sure when the mountain will erupt. Over time staff can build up experience and spot the clues or ‘tells’  but for the most part the hair trigger will go and the unfortunate person standing in the wrong place gets both barrels, or at least a good hair drying and spittle!

No true Leader will ever behave this way, only a bad Manager would act like this. A Leader knows ways to manifest change in both themselves and others without intimidation or even a raised voice. True leadership starts with mastery of oneself and until you can get the best out of yourself, until that can be achieved, one can never really get the best out of others.

If you want to stop being a bad manager and start being a great leader then you should know ‘There’s only one way to win a campaign’ and that is NOT to shout and NEVER to bully.